I do not upload art on here anymore.
under your bed
Joined on 10/14/19
I’m sorry to hear that. I’m afraid I’m not qualified to help with the panic attacks other than to ask for help or seek a therapist. Also, you’re not deranged for seeking help, in fact you may find it easier to cope in public when you can privately vent to someone who is essentially paid to be yelled at all day. That may sound horrible for the therapist, but remember that they are paid quite well (possibly TOO well) and it is probably better to vent at a neutral party (the therapist) instead of a loved or hated one.
As for art, though, I recommend simply drawing whatever is in front of you, even if it just a can of soda, for practice—you don’t have to upload everything in your sketchbook, but it is best to “fail faster” by drawing a million crappy sketches so that when you do want to work on something you want to show off to the world, you can draw without thinking too hard, possibly even turn on some music. At the very least, you’ll be the master of drawing soda cans if you just draw that every single day.
The fact of the matter is, though, that drawing (or any art form, really) takes FOREVER. Maybe 30 years from now you could draw a photorealistic human face in 10 minutes, but until then you’re going to have to spend a MONTH (at least) on that same realistic head to achieve the same quality, especially if you have a lot of other responsibilities or a day job taking a lot of time and energy away from art. Personally, I may not upload anything for at least 3 months (an entire year for an animation) because I can do much better stuff than I’ve been uploading now, it’s just I need to spend much more time working on a single project to do so. It pays to have the patience of a saint in terms of art.